For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
