I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
