Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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