Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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