I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
