We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
