He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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