so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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