if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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