Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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