batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When are your genitals available?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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