just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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