her vagine was all disorganized.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
