quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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