I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
