Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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