I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
