chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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