well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
