I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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