last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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