Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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