It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize