He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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