I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
this hospital has no fireball
Dicks are not precious.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize