No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize