I puked a lego.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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