Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
