just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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