okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
