Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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