Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
