Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
