And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
