Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
