Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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