I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
