eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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