just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
