Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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