so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
