there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You ruined the universe
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
