its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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