He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
