Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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