careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
