If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
