He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
