The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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