don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
