do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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