Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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