weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
