i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
