im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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