What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
