My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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