Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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