I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
