I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
